有关女人的经典幽默句子

2009-07-17 17:47:55 来源: 网易社区 举报
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1 如果一个女人想要一件钻石头饰,她会解释那样会省下一顶帽子钱。

If a woman wanted a diamond tiara, she would explain that it was to save the expense of a bonnet.

创新句子:妻子对丈夫说:我就要这个钻戒算了,我想给你省一副手套钱。

2 我只知道一个女人不想要金子——她拿走了钻石。

I never knew but one woman who would not take gold --- and she took diamonds.

创新句子:我不喜欢钱,喜欢钻石。

朋友请客,让你点菜,你说:来份龙虾,我想给你省盘儿醋溜白菜的钱。

打车时这样劝自己:打车还能省下坐公共汽车的钱。

3 如果你是个女人,你就会知道女人一辈子最困难的五年是从29岁到30岁。

If you were a woman you’d know that the most difficult five years in a woman’s life are from twenty-nine to thirty.

注:女人调侃自己怕老:女人一辈子最困难的五年是从29岁到30岁。

4 女人只能保守一个秘密——她的年龄。

A woman can keep one secret --- the secret of her age.

创新句子:我不愿意告诉你我已经30了。

5 只要女人看起来能比她女儿还年轻10岁,她就非常满意了。

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

创新句子:谁希望比自己的女儿还年轻10岁?

6 不允许杀死伤害过你的女人,但什么也禁止不了你去想她每一分钟都在变老。

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has injured you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.

创新句子:我允许你想我一天天变老。

7 “我想知道他是不是知道如何把女人锯成两半,”Larry(人名)沉思着说,“我的意思是,这样你就可以只要有功能,但不讲话的那一半了。”

“I wonder if he knows how to saw a woman in half,” said Larry thoughtfully. “I mean, so that you can get the half that functions but doesn’t talk.”

注:丈夫嫌女人唠叨,女人回答:要不你找个魔术师把我锯成两半,你只要会做饭但不说话的那一半。

8 “你曾经在办公室工作过,是不是,Jill(人名)?”一次一个女权主义者热切地问我,“男人骚扰过你吗?”

“骚扰过,”我回答,“但还远远不够。”

“You worked in an office once didn’t you, Jill?” a feminist [男女平等主义者] once asked earnestly.[热切地] “Did men ever harass[骚扰] you?” “Yes,” I replied, “but not nearly enough.”

创新句子:你骚扰过女权主义者吗?

9 没有什么比女人直接对着坛子喝酒更缺少女人味的了。

There is nothing less feminine than a woman drinking out of a jug.

创新句子:你喜欢直接对着酒瓶子喝酒的女孩儿吗?

10 二十年的浪漫使一个女人看起来象一座废墟,二十年的婚姻使她象一座公共建筑之类的东西。

Twenty years of romance[浪漫] make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building.

创新句子:那二十年的浪漫婚姻呢?

11 女人的风流韵事就象乘于洪水的潮汐,流向……上帝知道是什么地方。

There is a tide in the affairs of women

Which, taken at the flood, leads --- God knows where.

创新句子:人生象一条河,人生象一场梦,人生象一杯茶,人生什么都象。

12 世界上还有比给女人号脉更糟糕的职业呢。

There are worse occupations[职业] in the world than feeling a woman’s pulse.

创新句子:女人调侃自己情绪多变:我感到生活枯燥无聊时,就给自己号脉。

13 没有丑女人,只有不会打扮的女人。

There are no ugly women; there are only women who do not know how to look pretty.

创新句子:别人都夸我长得漂亮,但从不当面夸我。

14 女人非常敏感,她们甚至能听到和闻到不存在的东西。

Women have such keen senses they can even smell and hear noises that don’t exist.

创新句子:我也是这么敏感,有人说我多疑。

15 女人有一种奇妙的本能:除了显而易见的事情,她们什么都能发现。

Women have a wonderful instinct[本能] about things; they can discover anything except the obvious.[显而易见的]

创新句子:你的观察力不错,除了显而易见的事情,大部分你都能看清事物的本质,

16 女人总是激励我们干大事,又是她们阻碍我们去实现。

It is often woman who inspires [激励] us with the great things that she will prevent us from accomplishing.

创新句子:希望男人成就事业,又希望男人在家多陪她。

我太太一直激励要我做大事,现在我的酒量一天天长起来了。

17 对夸奖没有感觉的丑女人大自然很难造出来。

Nature has hardly formed a woman ugly enough to be insensible [无知觉的] to flattery upon her person.

创新句子:别人夸我英俊我也会很高兴,虽然还没人这么夸我。

18女人通常选择愿意选择她的男人。

Generally the woman chooses the man who will choose her.

创新句子:花心男人说:我愿意选择一个感觉我愿意选择她的女人。

19 女人总是在附笔里写出自己的想法。

A woman seldom writes her mind but in her postscript.

创新句子:顺便说一句,你还该我10块钱呢。

20 我妻子有闭月羞花之容,但在这点上我不屑于同别人辩论。

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

创新句子:我妻子很漂亮,我不想同你们争论。

21 一个女人站在门口谈了20分钟,她没有时间进去。

A woman stands 20 minutes talking at a door because she hasn’t time to come in.

创新句子:我不想占你太多的时间,因为我很忙。

22 大多数女人只是当丈夫在睡梦中嘟嘟囔囔时才全神贯注听他们说话。

The only time most women give their orating husbands undivided [专心的] attention is when the old boys mumble [咕哝] in their sleep.

注:妻子说梦话时,丈夫也很专注。

23 女人唯一不喜欢的金制品是沉默。

The only golden thing that women dislike is silence.

注:沉默是金。

24 她昨天晚上粉擦得太多,衣服穿得太少,对女人来说那常常是一种绝望的迹象。

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes; that is always a sign of despair in a woman.

注:浓妆艳抹就是对自己没有信心。

25 女人对秘密有两种看法:一是它不值得保存,二是它太好了不能保存。

A woman has two views of a secret. Either it’s not worth keeping, or it’s too good to keep.

创新句子:为什么要保守秘密?

26 男人不应该对妻子有秘密,她总能发现他的秘密

No man should have a secret from his wife; she invariably finds it out.

创新句子:妻子渴望发现丈夫的秘密,更渴望发现没有秘密。

27 女人有时侯对由她无情地引起的悲伤感到同情。

A woman sometimes feels pity for the sorrows that she causes without remorse.

注:先甩了男人,再表示同情。

28 一个女人的姿态是另一个女人的毒药。

One woman’s pose[姿态] is another woman’s poison.

注:东施笑颦。

29 年轻早已经成了她的一个习惯,她跟年轻分不开了。

Youth had been a habit of hers for so long that she could not part with it.

创新句子:我已经习惯年轻了。

yongwang 本文来源:网易社区 责任编辑:王晓易_NE0011
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