The only way to truly get over a breakup is to give it time.
As biological anthropologist Helen Fisher previously told Business Insider, "The day will come when that person who's been camping in your head is out. And you wake up in the morning and you realise that yesterday you never thought about them at all."
In fact, research suggests that we tend to overestimate how long it will take us to feel better after a breakup.
That said, if you've just landed in Splitsville, there are plenty of ways to speed up the recovery process - so you can show up to work as a functioning human being, and not a sobbing mess.
1. Don't Facebook-stalk your ex
A study published 2012 in the journal?Cyberpsychology?found that people who creep on their exes' Facebook profiles are more likely to have negative feelings for the person, more likely to desire that person, and less likely to grow from the breakup.
It's hard to say whether looking at an ex's Facebook profile directly causes distress, or whether it's the other way around. Either way, do yourself a favour and try to resist the urge to "just check" what your ex has been up to since the breakup.
One benefit of this exercise is that you might realise while you want someone who's emotionally open, for example, none of your exes have been. From there, you can start to look for a partner who's more suitable for you.
One of the study authors, Lauren Howe, broke it down in?The Atlantic:
"In our research, people reported the most prolonged distress after a romantic rejection when it caused their self-image to change for the worse. People who agreed that the rejection made them question who they really were also reported more often that they were still upset when they thought about the person who had rejected them."
On the other hand, Howe wrote, people who responded with remarks such as, "I learned that two people can both be quality individuals, but that doesn't mean they belong together" tended to have an easier time with the breakup.
Howe recommends that we try to "question our own narratives" about what the breakup reveals about us in order to have an easier time coping.
4. Write about a silver lining you've found in the breakup
Research suggests that simply journaling about your emotions surrounding a breakup can make you feel worse.
But a study published 2015 in the journal?Social and Personal Relationships?found a specific type of journalling can help you cope: writing a redemptive narrative. That is, a story about how you turned suffering - in this case, a breakup - into a positive experience.
A group of participants who spent more time talking to experimenters and filling out surveys about the breakup later experienced less distress than a group who spent minimal time on the same activities. The first group was also less likely to agree with statements like, "I do not feel like myself anymore."