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第11期爆笑字幕:中国车展看胸不看车?

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Welcome to 《老外看东西》 again~ You know you love me~ XOXO 本期节目高能。话说,今年上海车展开始好久了,但总觉得少了点什么?…司徒说,因为今年取缔了车模。怪不得我这心里空空的…离开了车展,我和司徒去下馆子,我终于明白,原来他们腐国人真的不仅爱吃炸鱼和土豆,他们还喜欢吃薯条!下面,请让我们就静静的撸完这期节目,如果你发现好像艾力老师胖若两人,表担心,因为那是John老师(此处应有掌声),相信我,下期艾力还会瘦回来的!

Stu:Hello, and welcome to Laowai Kan Dongxi,大家好,欢迎收看《老外看东西》

the show where we talk about the English language.这是一个英文脱口秀栏目

But really, you shouldn’t listen to me talk about the English language, ‘cause I know nothing.不过说真的,你不该听我讲英语,因为我对英语可是一窍不通

But luckily I’m joined by someone who does.不过好在我今天请到了一个懂行滴

I’m joined by John! John, welcome to the show!有请John!欢迎你,John!

John:Hi Stu.你好,司徒

Stu:John, what do you do?John,你是做什么工作的?

John:I’m now teaching English, but I used to teach sanda.现在我教英语,不过我以前可是散打教练

Stu:Sanda! Oh! Chinese kickboxing, right?散打!哦!中式搏击,是吗?

John:Yes.没错

Stu:That’s… that’s… that’s quite good. It’s not as good as boxing though!挺不错的,不过比拳击逊一些

John:What did you say!!!你说什么?!

Stu:I... I… I said… nothing… nothing. Love sanda!没没没,我爱散打!

Love it! Love it. Love it… Love it.真的,真的很热爱散打(其实我怕被你打)

First word please.我们来看看第一个词吧

Stu:Yeaasss!!!太棒了!!

John, do you know why I’m happy?John,知道为毛我这么喜庆吗?

John:Go for it.说来听听

Stu:Well, China is going to position a very special vegetable as one of its staple foods, by the year 2020.嗯,到2020年,中国将以一种特别的蔬菜作为主食

Can you guess what that staple vegetable will be?猜猜是什么?

John:I don’t know man!我怎么会知道!

But you are British. The British people like bland food, without any flavor.不过你是英果仁,你们的饮食比较单调乏味,没有任何口味而言

I guess… the potato?我猜……是土豆?

Stu:What do you mean British people only eat bland food?你说英国人的餐饮索然无味是啥意思?

John:I didn’t say that.我可没这么说

Who said that?谁说滴?

Not me. Not me…不是我,我没说……

Stu:I thought you said that!我绝对没听错!

John:Not me.不是我……

Stu:Okay. Well… well you’re right. You’re right John.好吧,你说的没错,John

China is going to take the potato, and by 2020 they are going to make it into one of their many staple foods.中国也要开始把马铃薯正式请上餐桌了,而且到2020年,它也将加入中国人民的主食之列

Now staple food feeds the entire population.民以食为天啊

But John, what are some of China’s staple foods?不过John,说到主食,中国都吃什么?

John:In China we raise rice, corn and wheat.在中国,我们有水稻,玉米和小麦

Stu:And in Britain?那英国呢?

John:You eat potatoes every day.你们每天都吃马铃薯

Stu:John, we don’t eat potatoes every day. We don’t.John,我们可不是“每天”都吃马铃薯,不是那样的

We also eat French fries.我们还吃炸薯条呢

Okay? Get it right!知道了吗?别搞错了!

Come on! Do your research.拜托,不调查怎么能下结论呢

But anyway, not everybody is as happy as me about this news.但不管怎么说,不是所有人都像我一样对这则消息感到嗨皮

Stu:Sounds delicious!只是听到消息,我的口水就已经如滔滔江水延绵不绝了!

John:But Stu, I remember some news about you, potatoes and a video.司徒啊,我记得好像听说过前阵子你那啥,土豆,视频啥的

Apparently, you ate raw potatoes!你竟然生吃土豆!

Why did you do that?你为啥要这么做呢?

Stu:Well… I… It’s true… It’s true.这个……我……没错

I ate a raw potato.我确实吃了一个生土豆

Actually, I made a video mocking British cuisine, because a lot of Chinese people, including you,实际上我制作了一个视频是想模拟一下英式西餐的,因为很多中国人,包括你

think that British people only eat potatoes.都认为英国人只吃马铃薯

But, we don’t only eat potatoes.但实际上马铃薯并不是我们唯一的食物

John:Aahh! You eat fries too!啊!你们还吃薯条!

Stu:We eat fries too.我们也吃薯条

Exactly!没错!

John:You don’t eat raw potatoes, do you?你不会真的吃生土豆,对吧?

Stu:No. Of course not!不,当然不会!

That… that’d be silly.那太傻了

I don’t eat raw potatoes.我怎么会吃生土豆呢

Stu:

It would be utterly ridiculous to eat potatoes raw.

生吃马铃薯太荒唐了

It would be stupid. So…

而且这种做法很愚蠢,所以……

John:But Stu! Have you been eating this potato?司徒!这是你啃过的吗?

Stu:What, this potato?什么?这只土豆?

No! It would be ridiculous.怎么会!别搞笑了...

Let’s go to the next word.我们还是看下一个词汇吧

Stu:John, what does it mean to bare the flesh?John,你说“bare the flesh”这个词是啥意思?

John:Well, it means to show off a bit of your skin.意思是说炫耀一下自己的皮肤

And show everyone how good you look.向所有人展示你看上去有多棒

Stu:So show… show a bit of skin, and show everyone how good you look.炫耀一下自己的皮肤,向所有人展示你看上去有多棒

You mean, like this!你指的是这样

John:Have you been stalking me?你一直在盯我的梢?

Stu:Yeah… I… I mean no… no… no.是啊……我的意思是没有…...

John:Stu, it’s your turn to bare the flesh.司徒,轮到你“秀肉”了

Stu:Aah! Really?这么有基情?!

John:Yeah!!!来吧!!!

Stu:What a body!体型真不错!

Do you agree?你觉得呢?

John:No!!!你自我感觉太良好了!

Stu:Oh… Okay.好吧

Anyway, why are we talking about baring the flesh John?那我们为什么要讨论“秀肉”呢?

John:Well, there’s news that Shanghai car show is gonna forbid sexy models.因为有个新闻说,上海车展将禁止采用性感模特来给汽车打广告了

Stu:Oh… Oh no!不是吧!

They are going to stop them from advertising cars!以后不让性感模特为汽车做广告了!

You know, Britain has its own car show; it’s called the Motor Show.英国也有自己的车展,我们都叫那汽摩展(Motor Show)

I went when I was younger.想当年我还去看过

There were no half-naked models.那里并没有什么半裸的模特

So in Britain, these car shows, they don’t really use half-naked models.所以英国的车展并不采用半裸模特当招牌

But, I don’t really see what the problem is anyway.不过话说回来,我到不觉得这有什么问题

John:Well, I think a lot of people were annoyed at the idea of making this an event for dirty men.我觉得很多人都认为,为一些猥琐男举办如此一场盛世真的很讨人嫌

Stu:What!!! It’s a family event.神马!!!这只是一场家庭活动而已

Look!瞧!

Stu:See. Mother and child…看,多好的一对母子……

John:Yeah! But look, who is standing next to them!是啊!不过你看看站在他们旁边的是谁!

John:I’m pretty sure he is only there for one thing… huh?我很肯定他在那只是在看车而已,不是吗?

And take a look at these guys!再看看这些家伙们!

Stu:I’m pretty sure that there is a beautiful car behind this beautiful girl,我非常肯定,在这个漂亮姑娘背后是一辆非常漂亮的汽车

and actually those guys sitting on the floor, are taking a photograph of the car, and not the woman.而这些坐在地上的人其实正在给车拍照,而不是前面的模特

John:Well… really???这……真的???

What is this guy doing?那这个家伙在干嘛?

Stu:Okay that… that does look bad.好吧,这确实看起来很糟糕

But… but, I… I imagine that… they are actually taking a photograph of a really well-built wheel…不过我猜,或许他们正在为一个做的非常漂亮的车轮拍照……

a wheel that’s between that… that woman’s legs.而那个车轮又恰好被模特的双腿给挡住了

And they are just… you know taking a photograph, and the woman is standing there by accident.所以,他们只是在拍车轮,只是模特恰好站在镜头和汽车中间了

John:Really???我看那只轮子也填不满你的脑洞...Stu:

Yeah well. Those guys are… are just taking photos of that girl’s arse.好吧,我得承认,这些家伙确实在拍模特的屁股

Yeah. Yeah. That looks bad.嗯,确实很不好

But you can’t assume that every automotive show in China is filled with Chinese guys,不过你也不能说每个在中国举办的车展都充斥着

going along to take photos of half-naked women sitting on top of cars showing their boobs.举着相机四处拍车模大波波的中国人

John:Well, you can!怎么不能这么说!

For example, there is this.你可以看看这个

John:And this!

还有这个!

John:

And these!

还有这些!

Stu:

Okay. Okay. You’ve… you’ve made your points. Well done. Well done.

好吧,我无力反驳,你真行

Any… anyway John, there is a Chinese phrase, it’s chezhan kan xiong bukan che.

不管怎么说,John,中国有句话,叫“车展看胸不看车”

And you are an English teacher. So I was wondering can you teach me what this Chinese phrase means?

既然你教英语,能不能教教我这句中文的意思啊?

John:

Well, it means these guys are looking at their BOOBS!!! Not cars.

这句话是说,这些家伙是去车展看美胸,不是去看车的!

Stu:

I guess the girls’ boobs, right.

你指的是看那些模特的胸部,对吧?

But, presumably this won’t be used any more.

不过似乎这个词以后再也用不上了

John:

Well, they’ve learnt this phrase today, but it’s useless.

没错,大家今天学的这个词已经没用了

Stu:

Oh. Sorry. Sorry about that, guys at home.

哦,真遗憾,正在收看本期脱口秀的观众朋友们

Anyway John, what cars are you looking forward to seeing at the… at the show?

不管怎么说,John,你去车展是打算看什么呢?

John:

What???

什么?

Stu:

You know, when you go to the Shanghai automotive show, what cars are you looking forward to seeing?

我是说,当你去上海车展时,你是希望看到什么车呢?

John:

I’m not going! Because there are no sexy girls.

我才不会去呢!反正那儿也没有性感模特了

Stu:

Oh yeah. That’s exactly why I’m not going!

好吧,彼此彼此...

Should we go to the next word?

那我们来看看下一个词?

Stu:

We are on to the final term of today’s show, and that final term is write-off.

到了今天最后一个词啦:write-off

But John, what does write-off mean?

John,跟我们讲讲write-off的意思吧

John:

You know, when something is badly damaged, and can’t be repaired.

它指的是遭受了破坏而且无法修好的东西(报废品)

Stu:

Ah! Okay.

啊!酱紫啊

John:

Today’s show is a write-off!

今天的脱口秀就是个write-off

Stu:

That’s quite rude, John.

John,你这么说太无礼啦

It’s quite rude.

伤透了我滴小心肝儿

I mean… I mean you’re right. Today… today’s show is a write-off. But it’s quite rude.

当然,你说的也对,今天的节目挺失败,不过这么说还是太过分了点

Anyway, that is not the write-off we are going to be talking about.

不管怎么说,这不是我们今天要说的意思

The write-off in question is this one.

我们讨论的“报废品”指的是这个

Stu:

Now that was David Beckham’s car.

这是大卫•贝克汉姆的汽车

A top of the range Audi, which he crashed whilst driving his son home from a football game in Britain.

一辆高端奥迪,在英国时,一次他接儿子从球赛回家时给撞毁了

John:

That same car appeared on eBay for 400,000 RMB.

就是这辆车在eBay上拍卖的售价高达40万人民币

Stu:

Wow, that’s about 40,000 pounds.

喔,那可有4万英镑咯

The original price was 80,000 pounds.

这辆车原价在8万英镑

John do Chinese people like to buy second-hand goods?

John,中国人喜欢买二手货吗?

John:

Not really.

不喜欢

Stu:

Would you buy David Beckham’s car?

你会买贝克汉姆的车吗?

John:

Maybe…

或许吧

Stu:

Okay well, seeing that celebrities can sell their damaged goods, their write-offs,

那好,既然名人们可以出售他们的报废品

I have decided to offer you the chance to buy some of my goods, which I think are actually write-offs.

我决定挑几件我自己的东西卖给你,我觉得这些也是废品

So first, we’ve got this phone. It’s quite nice, right?

第一件是这部手机,挺不错的吧?

John:

Yes.

Stu:

You know, it’s lovely, thin and black.

它的外观优雅靓丽,超薄的手感,黑色机身更让你逼格满满!

Only problem is, you can’t make calls, or receive calls, or send texts, or receive texts.

只有一点小问题,它不能用来打电话,短信功能也不好使

John:

No!!!

我不要!!

Stu:

Sure you don’t want… you don’t want it?

确定不要?

John:

No!

确定!

Stu:

You sure?

真的?

John:

No!

绝壁不要!

Stu:

Okay, let’s see what else I’ve got down here.

好吧,看我这儿还有什么

I’ve got this half eaten banana. Actually I’ve only eaten one third.

这里有半根吃剩的香蕉,其实还剩了三分之二,一大半呢

Unh… I can give you a good price. Do you want that?

我给你开个好价,怎么样,要吗?

John:

No!!!

不要!

Stu:

Okay. All right.

好吧

Umm… What else have I got?

看看我还有什么

Oh. I’ve got these lovely things.

哦,这件东西好可爱的

Eh… some underpants.

我滴小内内

They are almost new. They’re second… They are second-hand.

九成新,而且真的穿过哦

Eh… They smell okay. Not great.

嗯,味道还好,算不上很棒

Eh… There’s a hole in the back, I don’t know how that got there.

菊花部位还有个通风口,我不知道怎么搞的

So they are… you know they are write-offs.

这也是我不再穿的报废品

Do you want these?

要吗?

John:

No!!! Disgusting!

不要!好恶心!

Stu:

Only 50 kuai!

只要50块就好啦!

John:

No!!! No!

不!不要!!

Stu:

All right. Suit yourself.

好吧,随你便

Okay. Well I suppose that’s all we’ve got time for today on Laowai Kan Dongxi.

好啦,本期的《老外看东西》就到这里啦

John, thanks for joining me today.

John,非常感谢你的参与

John:

My pleasure!

别客气!

Stu:

And we’ll see you again next week for more of Laowai Kan Dongxi!

下周不要忘了继续观看《老外看东西》,我们还有更多精彩内容哦!

Byeee!!!

再见!

John:

See you.

再见

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